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Treating Your Employer Like Your Girlfriend

August 7, 2010

Ask yourself this – how is your employer like a woman.  Did any of these attributes come to mind?

1. more attracted to people who are already involved than those with no commitments (i.e. unemployed/no girlfriend).

2. has a sense of entitlement – you are there to serve them rather than being in an equal relationship.

3.  used to being sought out, rather than pursuing.

Perhaps you thought of these and maybe a few more attributes in the same vein as well.  If so, this may mean you need a new girlfriend or a new job, but more likely it simply means that employers in general may be susceptible in the hiring process to the same thing women are susceptible to in the dating world – the “pick up artist.”

Mystery - Pick up artist

Coming to a Human Resource Office near you?

No, I don’t mean dressing outlandishly or buying your HR manager drinks.  I mean establishing a game plan that addresses the same issues that you need to address when seeing someone new you want to get to know better:

  • getting their attention
  • disarming their defenses
  • increasing their estimation of your value
  • escalating to a decision point
  • closing the deal

There are also similarities to the two approaches in the finer points as well.  for both women and business, red is a power color.  Both want to feel secure around you.  It is not in your best interest to appear wimpy in front of either one.

There may be other similarities as well – I’ll admit I’m not familiar enough with the concept of “negging” to imagine a corollary in the business world, but the underlying strategy – subverting defensive blocks and equalizing status – would be extremely useful in a job search.

Incidentally, I find it interesting that, as a society, our likelihood to stay with one job until retirement and our likelihood to stay with one spouse seem to correlate fairly well – does anyone know if this is generally true across cultures?


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